Look Again Read online

  “She said it herself,” Sarah shot back.

  “That’s not the point.” Ellen turned away, ashamed of her next thought. Courtney’s husband owned three summer camps in Maine, and Sarah’s was a thoracic surgeon. She was the only one who didn’t have a husband, like a salaried safety net.

  “El, you look kinda sick.” Courtney eyed her. “You gonna barf?”

  “No, Boston, I’m not gonna bahf.” Ellen shook her head. She was going to lose her job today, and that damn white card gnawed at the edge of her thoughts. “Look, let’s calm down, okay? We’ll know any minute which one of us is getting let go. It doesn’t help to obsess.”

  Sarah turned to her. “Oh, get real. You know Marcelo will never let you go. He’s hot for you.”

  “He is not.” Ellen felt her face flush.

  “He looks at you from his office, like you’re the one behind glass, like a fish in a bowl.” Sarah’s eyes flickered. “Like a little blond fishie.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Ellen said, but Courtney placed a hand on her shoulder.

  “El, here are my famous last words. You’re single, he’s single, and life is short. I say, go for it.”

  Suddenly there was a knock at the bathroom door.

  And the three women looked over.

  Chapter Six

  Filling the newsroom were fifty-odd L-shaped desks furnished with computers, multiline phones, and atmospheric clutter, but only a few were occupied. Ellen had been at the paper long enough to remember when all the desks were full and the newsroom had the self-important hustle-bustle depicted on TV and the movies. There had been an electricity in the air then, from working at the epicenter of breaking news. Now the epicenter of breaking news had moved to the Internet, leaving too many of the desks vacant, now one more. Courtney’s.

  The room felt so much emptier to Ellen, even though she knew it wasn’t possible. Mostly everybody had gone out on assignment, fleeing the scene of the crime. Sharon Potts in Business and Joey Stampone in Sports were at their desks, writing away and avoiding each other’s eyes, stricken with survivor’s guilt. Only Sarah chatted happily on her cell phone, the sound incongruous as laughter at a funeral.

  Ellen set down her cold coffee and sat at the computer, checked her email, and opened her address book. She was supposed to be starting her follow-up story and looking for Susan Sulaman’s phone number, but she felt shaken. Courtney hadn’t shed a tear when she’d packed her desk, which only made it harder, but they’d hugged and promised to stay in touch, even as they both knew they’d get too busy.

  You’re single, he’s single, and life is short. I say, go for it.

  Her thoughts circled back to Timothy Braverman, and she reached into her purse, slid out the white card, and looked at the photo in the middle. The likeness between Will and Timothy struck her again as unmistakable, even for an age-progressed depiction. The bottom of the card read ACMAC, and she Googled it, then clicked through. American Center for Missing and Abducted Children, read the screen, and Ellen skimmed “About Us.” ACMAC was a national organization to recover abducted children and runaways, and the page listed Amber Alerts.

  She found the search button, typed in Timothy Braverman, and pressed Enter. The screen changed.

  And Ellen almost gasped.

  Chapter Seven

  On the screen was a color photo of Timothy Braverman as a baby, and his features were identical to Will’s, especially the eyes. Timothy had blue eyes, a shade she had never seen in anyone’s eyes but Will’s.

  My God.

  She read the webpage. The top said, Timothy Braverman, and underneath were two photos, side by side. On the right was the black-and-white thumbnail, the age-progressed picture from the white card, but on the left was the color baby photo of Timothy that had made Ellen gasp.

  Timothy at one year old, read its caption. The photo had been cropped, a close-up of the baby’s face in excellent focus, and it was taken outdoors in front of a lush green hedge. Timothy’s blond hair caught the light, his highlights ablaze in the sun, and he grinned broadly, with his mouth turned down on the right, showing only two front teeth. Ellen had seen that very same grin on Will, after he’d finally got healthy.

  She studied the screen, wondering what Will looked like when he was that little. She hadn’t met him until he was a year and a half old, and the shape of his face then had been more elongated than Timothy’s, due to his illness. He had been paler, his skin thin and curiously aged. Timothy had the exact same face, only healthier, his cheeks a rosy hue under a cheery layer of baby fat.

  Ellen read on, avoiding a creeping sense of unease. The page said, For further information, please see www.HelpUsFindTimothyBraverman.com. She clicked on the link. The screen changed, and the top of the page read: Help Us Find Our Beloved Son, Timothy Braverman. It was a homemade website with Thomas the Tank Engine chugging around the perimeter. Her heart fluttered, then she dismissed it. It didn’t mean anything that Will loved Thomas the Tank Engine, too. All little boys did, probably.

  She scanned the webpage. It showed the same baby picture as the ACMAC site, but the photo hadn’t been cropped, and she could see the whole picture. Timothy was dressed in a blue Lacoste shirt and jeans, and his legs stuck out straight in front of him, his feet in new white Nikes, their bottoms clean. His pudgy fingers grasped an oversized set of Fisher-Price plastic keys, and he was sitting very straight in his navy blue stroller. Will used to sit that way too, remarkably erect, as if he didn’t want to miss anything.

  Ellen reached for her coffee, then set it down without taking a sip. It was so damn eerie, like seeing Will’s double. Was it possible that he had a twin somewhere? A brother she hadn’t been told about? Those things happened, at least according to Oprah.

  She clicked the link for the next page. There were more photos of Timothy as a baby; nine in all, a chronological progression from birth to his first birthday. She scanned the photos of Timothy as an infant, swaddled in a white receiving blanket, then flopped on his tummy, next propping himself up on soft arms, and finally ensconced in a bucket car seat. She had never seen Will as an infant, so she had no idea how he’d looked, but at about ten months old, Timothy began to look exactly like Will. She read the text below the photos:

  We, Carol and Bill Braverman, will be eternally grateful to anyone who can help us find our son, Timothy Alan Braverman. Timothy was kidnapped by a Caucasian male, about thirty years old, approximately five-foot-ten and 170 pounds. The man stopped the Mercedes driven by Carol, pretending to be a motorist in distress. He pulled a gun on Carol, carjacked the Mercedes, and shot and killed Timothy’s nanny, Cora Elizondo, when she began screaming. He drove away, with Timothy still in the car seat. The suspect called with a ransom demand, which we paid in full, but Timothy was never returned. For a composite drawing of the suspect, see below.

  Ellen shuddered. The wrong place at the wrong time; a car driven away with a baby inside. It was every parent’s nightmare. Guns, screaming, murder, and in the end, a kidnapped child. She looked at the composite drawing, sketched with simple pencil lines and only slight shading. The suspect had a thin face with narrow eyes, a long nose, and high cheekbones, like your average scary guy. She continued reading:

  Carol Braverman says: “In the year God shared Timothy with us, we came to know him as a loving, happy, joyful little boy who adores Thomas the Tank Engine, his cocker spaniel Pete, and lime Jell-O. As his mother, I will never stop looking for him and won’t rest until he is back home.”

  Ellen would have felt exactly the same way, if it had happened to her. She never would have given up on finding Will. She returned to the webpage:

  The kidnapper is currently wanted by federal and state authorities. The Braverman family has posted a reward of $1,000,000, payable to anyone who has information that leads to finding Timothy. Please do not call with false leads or pranks, or you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent.

  Ellen’s heart went out to the Bravermans, maybe because of the sim
ilarity between the boys. A million bucks was a huge amount for a reward, so the family must have been wealthy, but all the money in the world hadn’t kept them safe from harm. She clicked back to the first page of the website and looked again at the baby photo of Timothy. On impulse, she scrolled over the picture and hit the Print button.

  “Hey, girlfriend,” said a voice at her shoulder, and Ellen reflexively clicked the mouse, so her screensaver of Will popped back onto the monitor. Standing next to the desk was Sarah Liu, who shot her a quick smile. “How you doing?”

  “Fine.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Nothing, why?”

  “You don’t look good. Courtney was right. You sick or something?”

  “Nah.” Ellen felt unaccountably nervous. The photo of Timothy edged in noisy increments from the printer on her desk. “I just feel bad about Courtney.”

  “She’ll be fine. She knew it was coming.”

  “No, she didn’t.” Ellen frowned.

  “She said as much in the bathroom.”

  “But she didn’t mean it. And still, it’s a shock when it happens.”

  Sarah lifted an eyebrow. “She was the obvious choice. She wasn’t sourced that well, and her writing wasn’t as good as yours or mine.”

  “That’s not true,” Ellen shot back, hurt for Courtney, even in absentia. Meanwhile, the photo of Timothy slid from the printer tray, showing a rectangle of clear blue sky.

  “What are you working on, anyway?”

  “Research.” Ellen was a bad liar, so she asked, “How about you?”

  “An embezzlement piece, if Marcelo okays it.” Sarah wiggled some papers in her hand. “The police commissioner just agreed to meet with me. An exclusive, which he never gives. So, what are you researching?”

  “A follow-up on an old abduction story.” Ellen wondered why she kept lying. She could have just told the truth. Funny, I just saw a picture of a kid who looks exactly like Will. But something told her to keep it to herself.

  “What abduction story?”

  “Sulaman, a family abduction I did a while ago.”

  “Oh, right, I remember. It was so you.” Sarah snorted, and Ellen hid her annoyance.

  “What do you mean?”

  “It was heartfelt. Unlike me, you can pull it off.”

  “You can do heartfelt,” Ellen said, though she wasn’t so sure. The photo of Timothy had almost finished printing, and suddenly she wanted Sarah gone. “Sorry, but I have to get back to work.”

  “Me, too.” Sarah’s gaze fell on the printer just as the photo shot out, and she plucked it from the tray. “Aha! You’re not working.”

  Ellen’s mouth went dry as Sarah scanned the photo of Timothy.

  “You took more baby pictures than anybody I know.”

  “Guilty.” Ellen didn’t know what else to say. Obviously, Sarah had mistaken Timothy for Will.

  “See you later.” Sarah handed her the photo and took off, and Ellen bent down and slid it into her purse.

  Then she picked up the phone to call Susan Sulaman.

  Chapter Eight

  Fifteen minutes later, Ellen had hung up the phone, and Marcelo was motioning to her from his office doorway.

  “May I see you for a minute?” he called out, and she nodded, seeing through his glass wall that Sarah was still sitting in one of the chairs across from his desk.

  “Sure.” She rose and walked to his office, which was lined with colorful photographs that he had taken in his native São Paulo. One was a series of exotic stone arches in warm gold and tan hues, and another of weathered doors painted germanium red, vivid orange, and chrome yellow, with a pot of magenta petunias on one threshold. Ellen realized she had a crush on Marcelo’s office, too.

  “Please, take a seat.” He gestured her into a chair, and Sarah smiled quickly at her. He took his seat behind his desk, uncluttered except for stacked screen shots beside his laptop and a pencils-and-pens mug with a soccer ball on it that read Palmeiras. He sighed. “First let me say, I know it’s hard on you both, losing Courtney. If I could have avoided it, I would have. Now, Sarah just told me a great story idea.” Marcelo brightened, nodding at Sarah. “You wish to explain or shall I?”

  “You can.”

  “Fine.” Marcelo faced Ellen directly. “We all know that Philly’s homicide rate is among the highest in the country, we cover some angle of it every day. Sarah’s idea is that we do a major think piece on the issue, not treat it as episodic news. Sarah, this is where your editor steals your idea.” Marcelo flashed Sarah a grin, and she laughed.

  Ellen, confused, couldn’t even fake a smile. Sarah had told her she was going to Marcelo with an embezzlement piece, but that wasn’t true. She had gone to him with a think piece, which was a much bigger deal. With one layoff to go at the end of the month, Sarah was making damn sure it wasn’t her.

  Marcelo continued, “We need to explain why this is happening here, as opposed to other big cities in the States. What’s more important? It’s life or death.”

  “Exactly,” Sarah said, and Ellen felt a half step behind, like a middle schooler during a pop quiz.

  Marcelo nodded. “I see this as a cause-and-effects story. A thoughtful, in-depth examination. I will assign Larry and Sal to analyze the causes. Talk to social scientists and historians.”

  Ellen blinked. Larry Goodman and Sal Natane were the A-team, finalists for the Pulitzer for their investigative series on municipal bonds. All of a sudden, she was playing in the hard-news bigs.

  “I’d like to get you two started on the effects, and it has to be good, new work. Sarah, I want you to look at the effects from the perspective of costs. How much does violent crime cost the city in law enforcement, cop and court time, lawyer time? How about in tourism, lost business, and prestige, if you can quantify that. Crunch the numbers, as they say, but make it understandable.”

  “Will do.” Sarah took notes, her glossy head down.

  “Ellen.” Marcelo turned to her again, and she guessed that if he had a crush on her, either he hid it well or the murder rate had killed the mood. “I want you to put a human face on it. The homicide rate has to be more than a number. Don’t be politically correct about it. We can’t fix it if we don’t tell the truth.”

  Sarah interjected, “I have good stats on the race issue, and that’s the part I already wrote. Maybe I should take that angle, too.”

  Marcelo dismissed her with a wave. “No, please give your notes to Ellen. As far as deadlines, today is Tuesday. Let’s talk on Friday, before the weekend. Can you both do that?”

  “No problem,” Sarah answered, then rose, papers in hand.

  “Okay by me.” Ellen may not have studied for the quiz, but she was a fast learner. “By the way, can I ask you about another story?”

  “Sure. Go ahead.” Marcelo leaned back in his chair, and Ellen became aware that Sarah was lingering behind her in the threshold. Marcelo seemed to read her mind because he raised his gaze. “Thank you very much, Sarah. You don’t have to stay around.”

  “Thanks,” Sarah said, and left.

  “Okay, what is it?” Marcelo asked, his voice almost imperceptibly gentler, and Ellen wondered if he really did like her.

  “I did a story once on the Sulaman family, a wife whose kids were taken by her ex-husband. I just got off the phone with Susan and I’d like to do a follow-up.”

  “Why? Did she get the children back?”

  “No, not yet.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “They’re still gone, and I thought it would be interesting to let Susan tell us how it feels, as a mother.”

  Marcelo frowned, with sympathy. “It feels horrible, I assume.”

  “Right.”

  “Well.” Marcelo opened his palms on the desk. “A mother who grieves the loss of her children, still. It’s terrible for her, but there’s no story there.”

  “It’s more than that.” Ellen couldn’t explain the pull of the story, but then again, she never
could with any of her stories. She sensed that the idea was connected to the Braverman baby, but she wasn’t about to tell that to Marcelo. “Why don’t I go see Susan, then write it up and see what you think? It might pay off.”

  “I don’t understand you.” Marcelo shifted forward on his chair, an incredulous smile playing around his lips. “I just asked you to make our readers feel the tragedy of murder. Isn’t that enough to keep you busy, Ellen?”

  She laughed. Humor was as strong an aphrodisiac as power, and the man had both. Also that accent, with the soft esses like a whisper in her ear.

  Marcelo leaned further forward. “I know you’re feeling unhappy about me today.”

  “What do you mean, unhappy?”

  “Sarah told me you were no longer a fan of mine, because I let Courtney go. I made the best decision I could.” Marcelo’s expression darkened. “Please, try to understand that.”

  “I do understand.” Ellen didn’t get it. Why would Sarah tell him such a thing? Time to change the subject. “So what do you say, about the Sulamans? Gimme a chance?”

  “No. Sorry.”

  “Okay.” Ellen rose, hiding her disappointment. It wouldn’t do to give him a hard time. She had to get out of the office before she got herself fired.

  “Good luck with the homicide piece.”

  “Thanks,” Ellen said, leaving to talk to Sarah.

  She felt a catfight coming on.

  Chapter Nine

  Sarah’s desk was empty, and her coat wasn’t on the hook, so Ellen went to the desk nearest hers, where Meredith Snader was on her computer, her short gray hair barely visible above the monitor.

  “Meredith, excuse me, have you seen Sarah?”

  Meredith looked up over her tortoiseshell glasses, though her eyes remained vague, her thoughts with whatever she’d been writing. “She left.”

  “Where to, did she say?”

  “No, sorry.” Meredith focused on Ellen belatedly, her gaze sharpening like a camera lens. “So how are you, now that Courtney is no longer?”