After Anna Read online

  ‘He does?’ Maggie smiled. ‘How do you know?’

  Caleb hoisted the wilted buttercup. ‘I held this under his chin. It turned yellow. I got it on my phone.’

  Maggie smiled. ‘So you figured it out by accident?’

  ‘Good question,’ Noah chimed in, with a wink. ‘It must have been by accident. Was it an accident, Caleb?’

  ‘Yes.’ Caleb rolled his eyes, knowing what they were doing. He paused, thinking, and Maggie knew he was forming his motor plan, rehearsing in his head the way he was going to make the sounds for the word accident. It killed her that talking, which came so naturally to other kids, was something that Caleb had to fight for, every day.

  ‘Caleb, don’t forget your “tippy T,” ’ Maggie said, which was a trick their pathologist taught them, to remind him to put the tip of his tongue behind his upper teeth to form the T sound.

  Caleb nodded. ‘Yes, by ac-ci-dent.’

  ‘Accident! Way to go!’ Maggie ruffled Caleb’s reddish-brown hair with long bangs.

  ‘Great job, Caleb! By accident.’ Noah grinned down at him. ‘Say it again. Was it by accident?’

  Maggie held her breath. Caleb was supposed to repeat the word three times, which was difficult for kids with apraxia. If he couldn’t, they were supposed to let it go. The pathologist didn’t want them turning every conversation into a drill. They needed to encourage Caleb to talk, not shut him down.

  Caleb answered, ‘It was an ac-di-dent.’

  Noah smiled. ‘Try it again, buddy. Accident.’

  Caleb pursed his lips, thinking again. ‘Acc-di-tent.’

  Noah touched his shoulder. ‘Good enough for now, buddy.’

  ‘It sure is,’ Maggie added, but she could see that Caleb was disappointed. ‘Caleb, you don’t have to learn that word. It’s not an emergency.’

  ‘Ha!’ Caleb smiled slyly at Maggie, knowing it was another of their target words. ‘No, stop! That’s too hard.’

  ‘Caleb, it’s an emergency!’ Noah grabbed Caleb and gave him a hug. ‘It’s an emergency! I need a hug!’

  Maggie laughed. ‘Yes, an emergency hug!’

  ‘Dad, no!’ Caleb shoved Noah away playfully, and father and son started laughing and wrestling, falling onto the grass as Ralph sprang out of the way.

  Maggie watched them with another surge of happiness, feeling lucky in them both. Caleb was more than she ever could have asked for, and she’d treated him as her own since the day she’d met him. She wondered if she’d ever get that close to Anna or if it was too late to make up for lost time.

  Maggie felt the sunshine warm her shoulders. It was finally April, after a long Pennsylvania winter. Spring was a time of rebirth, and it was Easter, so it didn’t get any better. Maybe this was a new beginning, for her and Anna.

  Starting Friday.

  Chapter Five

  Noah, After

  TRIAL, DAY 6

  Noah arranged his features into a mask at counsel table, shifting in the gray suit that Thomas had bought for him. Thomas was standing in front of the jury box, about to deliver his closing argument. The prosecution had just finished, and Noah knew that Thomas’s closing was his last chance.

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ Thomas began, his voice booming with a hint of a Philadelphia accent. ‘Thank you for your time and the attention. I won’t keep you longer than necessary. But a man is on trial for his life here, and though you have heard one side of the story, you need to hear the other. I hope you’ll keep an open mind because my client, Dr Noah Alderman, has been wrongly accused of the murder of his stepdaughter, Anna Desroches.’

  Noah cringed, hearing it said aloud. It still seemed so unreal to him, despite the fact that he had lived it. Yet he had only himself to blame.

  ‘Let me remind you that Dr Alderman is a prominent pediatric allergist in the suburbs. He graduated from Yale University, Tufts Medical School, and he took an oath to never harm anyone. He raised his only son Caleb on his own, after the death of his first wife from ovarian cancer.’

  Noah hated that Thomas was playing the sympathy card. Karen had suffered so much. He shuddered to think of it now.

  ‘Dr Alderman is a person just like you and me, and I say this because you saw him on the witness stand. Some of you may have thought that he was not telling the truth, simply because of the way he acted. If you recall, he seemed to forget certain facts, he got confused, and he even appeared evasive at times.’

  Noah tried not to cringe. He could see one or two of the jurors nodding in agreement.

  ‘But here’s what I want you to remember when you go into the jury room and recall Dr Alderman’s testimony. First, he did not have to testify at all. The United States Constitution guarantees that he is innocent until proven guilty, and the burden to prove him guilty always rests with the Commonwealth. You know from TV and the movies that very few defendants take the stand in their own defense. Dr Alderman did that very thing, and that should tell you something about him and his integrity.’

  Noah swallowed hard, watching the jurors. An older Asian man in the back, VFW Guy, nodded, but a chesty white woman in the front row, Victoria’s Secret, folded her arms. The Terminator, a steroidal pipe fitter, glanced at Noah with approval, which gave him some hope.

  ‘Secondly, I would like you to ask yourself how you would have done under cross-examination by Linda Swain-Pettit, one of the most experienced prosecutors in the city, if not the country.’ Thomas gestured at the prosecutor. ‘You’ve seen her in action, so you know that the woman is a heat-seeking missile. She talks fast and thinks faster. She’s been in the courtroom almost every day for the past twenty-two years of her life, which is remarkable considering she looks only thirty.’

  Noah smiled at the unexpected joke, and even Linda chuckled, caught off-guard. The jury laughed, and Noah could feel them warming to Thomas’s argument.

  ‘If you ask yourself honestly, couldn’t she make you look like a fool on cross-examination? I know if she had me in that witness stand, I’d get nervous. I might forget what I said or didn’t say. And look at me, nothing scares me.’ Thomas wisecracked, and the jurors laughed. There were seven African Americans on the jury of twelve, five women and seven men. ‘And Dr Alderman has never been in the courtroom before. He never testified before. He has no criminal record. He’s never even been sued civilly.’ Thomas waved his hands in the air. ‘Consider that, and take a moment. Look around you at this grand, intimidating courtroom. I mean it. Look around, right now.’

  Noah scanned the courtroom, one of the largest in the Montgomery County Courthouse, ornate with crown molding and a paneled mahogany dais, witness stand, and jury box. Portraits of Pennsylvania judges in gold-filigree frames blanketed the plaster walls, next to polished-bronze sconces that were original. The walls had marble trim, and the pews were antique, also mahogany. Modern concessions like overhead fluorescents, computers, microphones, and an overhead projector and screen had been uneasily retrofitted. Equally incongruous was the sign taped to the plaster wall: YOU MUST BRING A TICKET TO BE SEATED. Allocation of Seating in Courtroom: Members of the General Public, 60. Reporters, 30. For Use of the Commonwealth, 12. For Use of the Defense, 12.

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you. Weren’t you intimidated the first time you walked into this courtroom? Aren’t you sometimes still? Now, can you imagine being on the witness stand, having questions fired at you like a machine gun, with your fate in your hands? Can you imagine facing that gallery, with all those people, reporters, everybody looking back at you, hanging on your every word, watching every move you make?’ Thomas pointed an accusatory finger at the gallery, and Noah could hear them shuffling behind him.

  ‘What normal person would not get nervous in such dire straits? That’s the reason you don’t have to testify at all, in this great country of ours. The Constitution embodies America and the values we hold dear. I was born in Philly, but my parents emigrated here from Nigeria and became citizens. Our freedoms are a beacon for countries all around t
he world. They protect all of us, including people accused of a crime. So ladies and gentlemen, when you go in the jury room and judge Dr Alderman for the way he testified, please, think again. Put yourself in his position. Because that’s what the Constitution and our great forefathers require from you. As Americans.’

  Noah could see it had an effect on the jury. Victoria’s Secret unfolded her arms, and an older African-American woman in the front row smiled. Thomas called her Mama because she looked like his mother.

  ‘And there is a third point I want to make. You have heard the term “reasonable doubt,” and I want to explain to you why that matters. Under our legal system and our wonderful Constitution, the Commonwealth always has the burden to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. It’s as simple as that.’ Thomas opened his hands in appeal. ‘It’s nowhere more important than in a first-degree murder case like this one, because convicting Dr Alderman could result in the death penalty. There is no greater punishment, ladies and gentlemen. Nor is there any greater power. The last thing you ever want to do is to convict an innocent man. As the saying goes, “Better to let a guilty man go free than to convict an innocent man.” ’

  Noah watched the jurors, their attention completely focused on Thomas, and he started to believe that he might actually be found not guilty.

  ‘And that is the very reason for the presumption of innocence and the requirement that the Commonwealth establish guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. What is reasonable doubt? If you recall, the Commonwealth put on four witnesses, a police officer, a detective, a criminalist, and a coroner. Did you notice what is missing from their case?’ Thomas lifted an eyebrow. ‘A witness. The Commonwealth did not produce a witness to this crime. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Thomas, that’s a lot to ask. How often do you get an eyewitness to a crime?” And you would be right about that, except in this case.’

  Noah had no idea where Thomas was going, and he could see an older juror in the back row frowning.

  ‘The murder of Anna Desroches occurred at night, on a driveway that wasn’t that far from the street, on a property that anybody could have access to. It was just a normal driveway in a residential area. Neighbors, passing cars, and pedestrians could have seen a beautiful young girl getting out of a car, and any one of those people could’ve killed her. Not only that, you also heard from the defense about the one lead that the police didn’t even bother to follow up on.’

  Noah straightened in his hard wooden chair. Hope filled his chest. Thomas was delivering, and the jury was in the palm of his hand. Noah allowed himself to believe that he might walk away from this nightmare, after days of going back and forth, up and down, witness after witness.

  ‘In my view, the Commonwealth is the guilty party in this case. They’re guilty of confirmation bias. They got their man at the scene and they stopped looking. Their case is completely circumstantial, riddled with more than enough holes to create reasonable doubt.’ Thomas cleared his throat. ‘So if I may, let me detail the deficiencies in the Commonwealth’s case, starting with the first witness . . .’

  Thomas launched into the remainder of his argument, and Noah kept his game face on. Sometimes the jurors would look over at him for a reaction, but he stayed stoic, his thoughts racing. He didn’t know which way the jury would go, but he knew the truth in his heart.

  He wasn’t an innocent man.

  Chapter Six

  Maggie, Before

  Maggie got out of her Subaru at the Lenape Nature Preserve, arriving before her best friend, Kathy Gallagher. Every morning, they walked two miles, subject to their kids’ schedules. Kathy had sixteen-year-old twin boys at the local parochial high school, and the Preserve was midway between their houses, a meadow with a path mown around the perimeter. They used the exercise as an excuse to see each other, calling it their Walk & Talk, though it was more accurately a Talk & Talk.

  Maggie inhaled deeply, scanning the lovely meadow, empty except for a few runners. The grass was tall and green, and the oak trees at the far side were in full leaf. A bluish-pink painted the sky, lightening where the sun was beginning to rise. Maggie couldn’t wait to tell Kathy that Anna had called. Last night, she’d texted her she had big news, but wanted to tell her in person.

  Kathy’s Prius pulled into the parking lot, and Maggie walked over, trying to contain her excitement. Kathy turned off the ignition with a grin that Maggie loved, easy and wide. The two women had been roommates at Penn, and Kathy’s sense of humor had gotten them through the hard times, like their endless papers, final exams, and mutual divorces. Plus Kathy possessed the congenitally upbeat nature of a teacher, though she only substituted lately.

  ‘Hey honey!’ Kathy got out of the car, hugging Maggie. They were dressed alike in a fleece pullover and pants, except that Maggie’s fleece had cat hair and Kathy’s had dog.

  ‘Guess what?’ Maggie couldn’t wait. ‘I got a phone call yesterday from Anna and I’m going to meet her on Friday for dinner.’

  ‘Wait, what?’ Kathy’s rich brown eyes flew open. ‘You mean Anna? Your Anna? Called you?’

  ‘Yes, can you believe it?’

  ‘I’m so happy for you! You must be over the moon!’ Kathy gave Maggie another, bigger hug.

  ‘I am! Come on, I’ll tell you everything!’ Maggie hit the walking trail, Kathy fell into step beside her, and they talked during the first leg of their walk, the west side of the meadow. The chirping of birds filled the air, a lovely natural soundtrack. Maggie finished the story by the time they turned onto the south side, and the sunbeams spread like melting butter across the sky.

  ‘I’m so happy for you, honey!’ Kathy grinned, pushing her short, dark hair from her eyes. ‘Anna was just a baby the last time I saw her. She was all eyes, that pretty blue!’

  ‘Right? Hold on. I have some pictures.’ Maggie slid her cell phone from her pocket as they walked along, then scrolled to her photos, and showed Kathy a picture of Anna at six months old, sitting in her lap. Anna’s blue eyes were large and round, and her toothless smile took up her entire face. She had dimples that matched Maggie’s. Maggie was smiling in the picture, too, but she knew it was forced, masking her depression.

  ‘How cute is she?’ Kathy leaned over, without breaking stride.

  Maggie eyed the photo, which brought back so many emotions, both good and bad. Kathy had gone to Connecticut to take care of her sick mother during Maggie’s postpartum psychosis, and they had stayed in touch, even if Maggie had soft-pedaled how bad it was getting, not wanting to alarm Kathy when she had so much on her plate already.

  Kathy swiped the screen to the next photo of Anna, dressed up in a pink ruched dress with puffy sleeves. ‘And look at this one! She’s beyond!’

  Maggie remembered the day, when she’d taken Anna to a friend’s gender-reveal party. All the other moms had been so happy, but she’d felt miserable, then felt guilty for feeling miserable, a double-whammy of self-loathing.

  ‘And look, when she was really little.’ Kathy swiped to the earlier photo of Anna in a diaper, sleeping in her crib. She had on a yellow onesie that matched her yellow-plaid bumpers. ‘Ah, I remember bumpers. You’re not supposed to use them anymore, did you know that? You’re supposed to let the baby sleep in a box.’ Kathy looked over, then frowned. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Sure, fine –’ Maggie started to say, then stopped herself. ‘Not really. I’ll have to explain to Anna the whole postpartum thing. I don’t know how much she knows, if anything. She said she wants to understand what happened, with me.’

  ‘Oh, honey. She’ll understand.’ Kathy touched Maggie’s shoulder, with a sympathetic frown. ‘Don’t worry about it. Just be happy about this, it’s great. Show me another picture.’

  ‘I don’t have any more. Florian said he would give me copies but he never did.’

  ‘Oh, what a jerk! He’s unforgivable.’ Kathy loved to hate on Florian, and Maggie used to love dishing with her, but she was beyond that now, supposedly.

  ‘Let’
s not start on him.’

  ‘Why not?’ Kathy shot back. ‘Getting custody of Anna was just about power for him. That’s why he dumped her in boarding school and went flying around the world with his girlfriends. It would be one thing if you had still been sick and he was truly afraid for her welfare, but you had recovered by then. Did Anna tell him that she was going to call you?’

  ‘Yes. He didn’t think that I would come.’

  ‘How dare he! Of course you would! You’re her mother, whether he likes it or not.’ Kathy scowled. ‘I wonder what he’s up to these days.’

  ‘Being rich, I assume. He didn’t work after he sold the app.’ Maggie remembered Florian had been so driven, then he hit the techie’s dream, an IPO jackpot. She’d put him through business school by working in Penn’s registrar’s office, delaying her plans to go to law school. But she had never been more than a means to an end for him, and she was more alone married to him than she had been single, especially after the baby came along.

  ‘Did he get remarried?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Don’t you stalk him online?’

  ‘Not anymore.’

  ‘You’re not the woman I thought you were.’ Kathy smiled. ‘I still stalk Ted. It’s fun. Remember when he broke his ankle skiing? I couldn’t stop laughing. I was delighted.’ Kathy slid the phone from Maggie’s hand. ‘Gimme.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I’ll get his address, and we’ll make him give you back those pictures.’ Kathy scrolled through Maggie’s phone, logging into the Internet.

  ‘I’m not going to write him.’

  ‘If you don’t, I will.’ Kathy typed into the phone.

  Maggie looked away, walking along. The sun was peeking over the treeline, bathing everything in amber. Bees, butterflies, and white moths fluttered over the tall grass in the meadow. Birds chirped, and a goldfinch flew by, its wings flapping to reveal a bright yellow body. There was so much life in nature, it surprised her every time. And she was about to reconnect with Anna. Mother and daughter together, the way it was supposed to be.